Men: Do not accept a "Boilerplate" Parenting Plan in your Divorce
By Thor Hartwig, a Men's Divorce Attorney in Tampa, Florida
Nowadays, mediation is an effective, and increasingly mandatory, means of settling a divorce without going to trial. This can streamline the divorce process and decrease litigation costs, which can unnecessarily mount-up when parties are unduly adversarial.
When it comes to parental responsibility and timesharing in Florida—colloquially referred to as child custody—mediation can also be a good way to reach an agreement.
Most child custody agreements are laid out in a Parenting Plan, which is then incorporated by reference into the Final Judgment of the divorce. The Parenting Plan can address a wide variety of things, but generally include parental responsibility of the children, timesharing and other decision-making authority for important aspects of a child’s life.
But not all Parenting Plans are created equal.
Often times, couples will elect to go to a court-appointed mediator. In Tampa’s 13th Judicial Circuit, this is usually through the Mediation and Diversion Services. This method is relatively cheap and usually blocked into two-hour sessions.
Even for divorces with few issues, a two-hour mediation goes fast. And if the parties actually reach an agreement, the Marital Settlement Agreement and Parenting Plan is usually typed up within this set time-frame.
To say that these types of Agreements are “Boilerplate” would be an understatement. Often times, they simply cannot address the individual needs of a divorcing party, especially in regard to the Parenting Plan. When this happens, future litigation on the terms, or more likely the lack thereof, is almost inevitable.
And once these mediated agreements are incorporated into the Final Judgment, they are difficult to modify later.
For Example, when I was going through my divorce in Tampa, my ex-wife and I settled all issues in mediation. The subsequent Marital Settlement Agreement and Parenting Plan seemed good and I was happy, but it did not address one huge factor: relocation of one of the parties.
In Florida, parties that have joint parental responsibility and timesharing are generally not allowed to relocate more than 50 miles away from their home address, as the crow flies, without a court order. This is a difficult order to obtain, usually.
However, in a large city, if one parent decides to move 40 air-miles away, they do not need to get a court order, and if they move to the opposite side of town, it might as well be the dark side of the moon as far as your timesharing schedule is concerned.
This is what happened to me. Ex moved across the Bay and effectively rendered our timesharing plan impossible to carry out. This resulted in additional litigation, time, money and emotional capital.
When it comes to divorce, especially with children, the last thing you want is to revisit the family court system years later and have a public spotlight put onto your personal life.
This is why the initial Marital Settlement Agreement and Parenting Plan is so important to get right the first time. In order to do this, men need an attorney that has personally been there, done that and gotten the t-shirt. Otherwise there is no genuine empathy or personal experience on what actually works and what just looks good on paper.
More often than not, divorce and family law attorneys, and especially large firms that claim to be “men only”, have few if any male lawyers that have personally gone through a divorce with minor children. Instead, it’s an easy marketing niche to appeal to.
So men: when it comes to your paternity or divorce action, when it is time to go to mediation and try and reach a good, viable Settlement Agreement, then make sure you:
1) Buy Once, Cry Once: Spend the money on a good mediator that has a reputation for getting results. It will be far more expensive than a two hour court-ordered mediation, but it will likely save you far more money in the long run if it prevents you from having to re-litigate a Boilerplate Parenting Plan.
2) Don’t rush the mediation. Sure, the mediator is expensive, your attorney’s hourly rate is probably more expensive, but again, think of the money you spend now as an investment and make sure you cover all the bases and that your agreements, especially the Parenting Plan, cover as many contingencies as you can think of. If you can, save money by drawing up your own Parenting Plans with several permutations to it before you go to mediation. You can use these as a good basis to start the negotiation process from, instead of starting from scratch
3) If you plan on getting an attorney to represent you, make sure that he is competent and dedicates a large amount of his practice to family law only. Additionally, an attorney that went through a divorce himself with minor children can relate to your plight and offer personal insight beyond the law in order to help tailor the best possible Parenting Plan for you and your children’s individual needs.
4) Lastly, don’t be afraid to reach an impasse on certain issues in your divorce or paternity case. It is common for most issues being resolved in mediation and the rest being litigated at trial. Settle what you can, but don’t give-in on the important issues to you—like trying to have at least 50-50 timesharing with your children. Stand firm on those issues and let a judge decide if necessary.
Good luck, Gents.
*This Blog and the posts in it are meant to give a broad overview of general legal concepts and are not legal advice.
If you have any questions regarding your divorce or paternity action, or would like to learn more about drafting a solid Marital Settlement Agreement and Parenting Plan, then contact Thor Hartwig at the link below:
Get in Touch.
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