Representing Yourself in Divorce Court Part I
By Thor Hartwig, a divorce attorney in Tampa, Florida
Don’t Agree to “Reduced” Child Support Amounts at Mediation
Any man that has been through a divorce can tell you that it is an expensive business. Here in Tampa, just to file for an uncontested divorce will cost a non-indigent person over $400.00 and most divorce attorneys in Tampa charge between $250-450/hour. Once the separating spouses cannot agree on even the smallest thing, it then becomes a contested divorce and attorney’s fees can start to mount.
It gets even worse when courts order men to pay the attorney’s fees for the wives that are statistically the ones that probably filed for the divorce. When men earn significantly more than their wives, or they are stay at home mothers, then this is a serious possibility.
Needless to say, expense is usually always at the forefront of any man’s mind in a divorce.
This is why many men choose to represent themselves in their divorce, or “pro se” in lawyer talk. It’s tough to blame them with the expenses that can easily start to rise. Not to mention most successful men have a tendency to think they can handle themselves in a divorce. And rightfully so—after all, they are hard-working, rational, logical and can present objectively fair arguments. Surely the things that got them ahead in life will apply to the divorce process!
This can apply generally, but if a man is intent on being a pro se litigant in his divorce, then he needs to be beware of some of the finer details that can come back to bite him hard in the future.
Two of the more common and costly mistakes men will make when representing themselves in a divorce in Florida are:
1) Negotiating a Marital Settlement Agreement with a low child support amount
2) Not understanding the alimony “benchmarks” in Florida
When men agree to reduced child support, then there is a strong possibility his wife’s attorney capitalized on his legal ignorance and has lured him into a trap that could prove very costly.
First, and foremost, if you absolutely must represent yourself in a divorce, then keep this old adage in mind throughout:
“A man that represents himself in his own divorce has a fool for an attorney and a fool for a client.”
But if you do find yourself in the situation of negotiating the terms of your divorce with even a novice divorce attorney, then for the love of God do not "agree" to a child support dollar amount. Usually when men agree to a seemingly reduced amount of child support, it is at the expense of a seemingly good break on alimony amount or duration. This is how it usually plays out:
Pro se Husband of a 13-year marriage doesn’t want to pay $1000 in durational alimony for 15 years. He says he can’t afford it on top of child support. He offers 9 years of alimony at the same price instead.
His wife’s attorney makes a final compromise before they walk: in exchange for only 13 years of durational alimony at $900 a month, the wife will accept only $100 in child support each month.
The husband contemplates it: his child is only 2-years-old so paying a reduced amount of child support for the next 16 years is probably more beneficial than paying alimony for 15 years on top of the $850/month “guideline” child support they were talking about earlier.
He pulls out his calculator and mentally thumps his chest for being prepared for the mediation. He crunches some numbers:
Wife’s Initial Offer:
12 months x $1000 x 15 years= Alimony of $180,000.00 + 12 months x $850 x 16 years= Child support of $163,200=$343,200 total.
Vs.
Wife’s counteroffer after him holding strong:
12 months x $900 x 13 years= Alimony $140,400 + 12 months x $100 x 16= Child support of $19,200 = $159,600 total.
So if he accepts this compromise then he will save…$343,200 – $159,600 = $183,600!
Bam. He accepts and signs the mediated Marital Settlement Agreement and initials every page. He feels like he represented himself like the successful man that he is.
Here’s the problem with his agreement:
1) Child support is for the benefit of the child and divorcing parents cannot agree or compromise to an amount below the Florida statutory guidelines amount.
2) For a 13-year marriage, unless the wife was completely incapable of working and/or disabled, or something equally severe, then there is a high likelihood that a judge would be limited to awarding durational alimony for no longer than the length of the marriage. The 15 years of alimony that the wife’s attorney started with was unreasonably high and gave him the upper-hand when beginning the negotiation process.
If the Husband took this Settlement Agreement to court to be finalized before a judge, then the judge would likely catch the reduced, agreed upon child support and then order Florida guidelines child support on top of everything else the parties agreed to.
Maybe the judge would allow the Husband to rectify the misunderstanding.
Or maybe the judge wouldn’t even catch it and once the MSA was incorporated into the final judgment, the wife would go to the Florida Department of Revenue and have them help her get it raised to the Florida guidelines amount. And they would do it. For free.
Either way, Husband would likely end up paying the $850 guidelines child support that he thought he negotiated down on top of the alimony that was on the extreme end of duration, given the length of the marriage.
This type of mistake could have easily been avoided with the help of a competent divorce attorney.
So men, if you really need to represent yourself in your divorce, I completely understand, but do your due diligence and get a basic understanding of the law before you negotiate yourself into a financial pitfall. Family court decisions can often be very difficult to undue, especially for alimony. It is far easier to get it right the first time than fighting to change it later.
Also, many divorce attorneys are willing to represent you in a limited capacity. If you would like to do the bulk of the heavy-lifting yourself, then do it, but consider hiring an attorney for any court-appointed mediation or settlement conferences you have, especially if your wife has already lawyered-up.
*This article is meant to give a broad overview of legal concepts; it is not legal advice.
If you have questions regarding your Tampa Bay divorce or would like to learn more about the divorce process before you file, then contact attorney Thor Hartwig at the link below:
Get in Touch.
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Unbundled Legal Services can be the most affordable solution in a Tampa divorce. Hire a Tampa divorce attorney to represent you on certain aspects of your divorce, while you do most of the legwork yourself. Given the huge expense associated with divorce, this has been a popular option for many people that want to save thousands of dollars.